Family Guy I Know I'm a Man of God

Family Guy (Tv Series)

Holy Crap (1999)

Photos

Quotes

• Peter Griffin : My dad'southward worked at that manufactory for lx years. That'south almost 80 years!

• Peter Griffin : Dad, my God, are you okay?

  Francis Griffin : [Francis slaps Peter in the face] Don't be using the Lord's name in vain.

  Peter Griffin : He's okay, thank God.

  [Francis slaps Peter over again]

• The Pope : Are yous sure this is Boston?

  Peter Griffin : Yep, information technology's Boston. Meet, look, there's Harvard.

  The Pope : That'southward just a barn.

  Peter Griffin : Ooh, someone went to Yale.

• Francis Griffin : I know what you're doing in in that location, and it's a sin! God watches you do it all the time, you know!

  Chris Griffin : God watches me go #2? Ohh, I'm a sinner and God'due south a debauchee.

• [Peter is trying to figure out how to earn his father'south respect when he sees a news report of the Pope visiting Quahog]

  Peter Griffin : I only got a crazy idea.

  [putting a waffle atomic number 26 on the table, he sticks his hand into it and closes the lid]

  Peter Griffin : AHHHH!

• The Pope : [after coming together Francis] I've never met such an infuriating human being! You must have the patience of a saint.

  Peter Griffin : Well, he's my dad. I simply want him to love me.

  Francis Griffin : Peter, how could y'all say such a thing? I love y'all with all me centre.

  Peter Griffin : [he gestures for the band to play the sentimental tune] Yous do?

  Francis Griffin : Of grade. I just don't similar y'all. I don't similar anything about you.

  Peter Griffin : [the band stops] No, proceed playing, you guys. I think this is as good every bit it's gonna become.

• Stewie Griffin : I honey God. He's so deliciously evil.

• Francis Griffin : [at his retirement party] At mass this morning, it occurred to me that I may never see any of your faces again. I merely want to say that Jesus loves you. Only in my eyes, you're a bunch of sinners and slackers who have forced a hardworking old man to retire. And then you can take this shiny watch and shove it.

  Stewie Griffin : I admire this man!

• Peter Griffin : Hey, that was some speech, dad.

  Lois Griffin : Aye, it's a shame grandma wasn't there to hear it.

  Francis Griffin : Bless her heart. She's on another i of her prayer missions in Las Vegas.

  Mrs. Griffin : [cut to a Vegas casino] Hit me, you 5-carte du jour stud.

  [hacking coughing]

  Mrs. Griffin : Cocktail!

  Francis Griffin : [return to the car] Yes, she's a rose. Information technology's a compassion you couldn't find yourself a nice Irish Catholic girl, Peter.

  Lois Griffin : [uneasy laugh] Oh, Francis, this must be embarrassing for you. I'm in the car.

• Peter Griffin : Dad, now that you're retired, you're coming to stay with united states. No more excuses. I'one thousand putting my pes down.

  [he steps on the brake pedal; Brian flies forward and hits the dashboard]

  Peter Griffin : Hey, Brian, buckle up.

• Lois Griffin : He but left without saying anything? Where would he get?

  Peter Griffin : I don't know. I merely asked him to buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks.

  Brian Griffin : I don't care if he ever gets back. I wasn't being cute. I really hope he'southward dead.

• Diane Simmons : Well, Tom, the City of Boston is examining its conscience tonight in grooming for a visit from the Pope.

  Tom Tucker : That'due south right, Diane. And I'll tell yous what else will be examined: this cock.

  [holding upwardly a rooster]

  Tom Tucker : Yep, the Rhode Island Cock Order will be sponsoring free checkups for this year'southward Erect Awareness Calendar week. Don't know why they went with such a suggestive name. They could've simply equally hands gone with "rooster".

• Stewie Griffin : [reading the Bible] My, my, what a thumping proficient read. Lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to 2x4s. I say, you won't find that in Winnie the Pooh.

  Chris Griffin : [groaning] Please don't say "poo".

• Lois Griffin : Peter, are you all right? Where's your male parent?

  Peter Griffin : Still at the manufactory. He'south turning the break room into a chapel.

  Lois Griffin : A chapel? Where will you all swallow lunch?

  Peter Griffin : Lois, lunch is a sin. Taking a break is a sin. Bestiality is a sin. I'one thousand non sure how that came up exactly, but me... me and dad take never been closer. Having him at the factory is the best...

  [equally he falls asleep, his head falls forward, the fork in his hand sticking into his forehead]

• Peter Griffin : Tomorrow night, they're throwing a large dinner and we're all gonna be at that place to award him.

  1000000 Griffin : Why? We barely know him.

  Chris Griffin : Yes, how come he never visits us?

  Lois Griffin : Well, kids, your grandfather has never been comfortable with the fact that I'm not Cosmic.

  [flashback to Peter and Lois'southward nuptials; a sign on their car reads "Just Married", and taped underneath is another sign reading "To a Protestant whore"]

• Peter Griffin : Yes, we all bask the Bible in this firm!

  Francis Griffin : Really? What's your favorite book of the Bible?

  Peter Griffin : Ah... um... ah... the i where Jesus swallows the puzzle slice and the human in the big yellow hat has to have him to the infirmary?

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0576940/characters/nm0532235

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